What a letdown. 

Official records say it was 14 seconds, but that was just the record.  The spectators swear it was impossibly…and shockingly shorter than that.  The Kimbo Slice circus top has folded….on all fours!

They may deny it but the Kimbo Slice formula (keeping the Kimbo Slice franchise a hot item by pitting him with “beatable” but interesting opponents – “tomato can” is too much of a term, we don’t want to dishonour the warriors with this derogatory term–uhurm!) is becoming more a fact that urban myth.

They had the dinosaur-old Ken Shamrock fitting the bill for this formula.  Elite XC couldn’t be happier with the prospect that this Kimbo Slice vs. The 44 year-old Ken Shamrock could bail them out of their tight financial fix.  After all, this match is the last telecast of their contract with CBS, and we do not know yet how CBS is feeling with this partnership with cash-strapped Elite XC.  What happens after this bout?  After the Elite XC – CBS three-show contract?

With the way things were going, there was no indication to the negative, as far as the CBS contract is concerned—until that accidental cut that Ken Shamrock inflicted on his eye while doing some light training.  “Oh, he’s so old, he’s brittle!” 

They should have sued that Shamrock sham for letting this accident happen to him!  Oh, how they must all have hated Ken Shamrock for letting them down.  Why didn’t Elite XC do a UFC85 “Chuck Liddel-Mauricio Rua” dancing-chair repeat? 

Remember?  Rua was injured so Evans was brought in.  Liddel hurt his hamstring so Irvin was brought in..and so on and so forth.  The match was altogether scrapped, and both Evans and Liddel have to consummate their unfinished business on UFC88.

Why didn’t they just “injured” and excused Kimbo so he could live another day to face a more suitable (read: defeatable) opponent?  Or maybe a Slice-Shamrock at another date—with or without the CBS contract?  But they didn’t!  And Kimbo was sliced!

What a letdown.   

After that 14-second flash-in-the pan (not unlike the Kimbo fame) tussle, true MMA fans rejoiced.  Newbie MMA curiousity-seekers incredulously asked, “That’s it?!!!”  and the suits of CBS rushed back to their boardroom to brainstorm another show– perhaps a reality show about community organizers, or about old guys wanting to take a shot at becoming a president?  Meanwhile, EliteXC employees start scanning the morning paper’s classifieds for job vacancies.  Oh, how they all hated that Seth Petruzelli pizza, or something.

Elite XC have banked all its rolls on the Kimbo Slice franchise.  It played a hangman’s game and they played till the noose was wrapped around its neck.  What’s next?

Some wise-ass suggests that with Gina Carano’s fame still alive and hot as hotcake, Elite XC could concentrate on becoming the world’s women-only MMA organization.  Or perhaps, they should get Chuck Norris as their new poster boy.

(We are not fans of Kimbo Slice, to set the record straight.  We just love the way he helps turn things out for MMA.  We’re sure a lot have the exact opposite opinion on this—they just HATE how Kimbo Slice turn things out for MMA! Har! Har!)

Just a couple of days more and we will see what fate hangs for the second most popular Mix Martial Arts organization in the United States.  Elite XC fields Kimbo Slice and Gina Carano for its third and last live broadcast with CBS, and the network TV ratings games will determine the company’s perilous make-or-break situation as it broadcasts its fight over CBS from the BankAtlantic Center on October 4.

The Kimbo Slice and Gina Carano headliner is an obvious attempt to make a repeat of that first broadcast with CBS last May 31 (which also happened to be the first mixed martial arts fight to be aired on network television).  This move is quite the most obvious and the most expected from the suits of Elite XC and CBS (whoever is really running the show).  After all, the formula they used gave that card an astounding success in the ratings game with a 3.0 rating and 4.85 million viewers.

While that May 31 bout was hugely successful, a lot of feedbacks from hardcore MMA fans were largely negative.  They complained that the bout did give the new fans of MMA a wrong impression of what mixed martial arts is all about, they complained of too much fanfare and pizzazz on the show, and they complained about an MMA nobody, Kimbo Slice, being the headliner instead of some true-blue MMA warrior.  Elite XC and CBS must have been convinced by all these complaints that they fielded “true-blue” MMA fighters on their second telecast. 

It was a costly mistake. 

It turns out the “Biggest Fight in MMA” history works with a Hollywood formula: casting is number one.  You see, movie-goers wouldn’t be interested in watching a movie starred by our regular “true-blue” MMA gladiators. 

On the other hand, cast a show with someone like Kimbo Slice who is more of a celebrity both in and out of the mixed martial arts world.  While at it, throw in the beautiful Hollywoodish Gina Carano and you have a blockbuster.  All the showbiz elements are there: Kimbo Slice looks like a thug but a lot of people know him as a good person who’s just down on luck (at least before the MMA break), a good father of six kids who is given a shot at making it big in the MMA.  Sounds like a good movie characterization and plot to me.

Take Gina Carano, stand her beside Eva Mendez or Hillary Swank, and I’ll pick “my” Gina Carano any day of the week. 

 

Let’s face it, Elite XC is not like our UFC where real fighters get to be appreciated by “real” MMA fans.  Elite XC is doing mixed martial arts a favour by introducing the sport to a wider audience, not without some sacrifices.  You will know when more newbie MMA fans are present, when the crowd boos ground games and delights at fist fights.  Let’s just hope that the CBS telecast on October 4 (which we are sure would be a success) would be able to change Elite XC’s luck.

And Oh, by the way, it’s not me writing this blog.  It’s my Hollywood reporter alter-ego pinch-hitting for me.  The Dr. Jekyll to my Mr. Hyde.  Cheerio!